Tantra, Gender and Couple's Work

​We are born with a physical body and an energy body. The physical one has a gender at birth and the energy body does not. The energy of a person represents their soul incarnation, male, female and third spaces. Some people come into awareness of their soul’s other gender spaces as part of growing up I.e. they awaken through the trauma of creating a new sexual identity. Others awaken and discover other parts of their soul journey. For myself, I always considered myself a hetero male but after several years of awakening, discovered parts of my soul experience relevant to this life are actually very feminine and some consider themselves third space simply without a fixed gender. 

 

The more we awaken, the more we become aware of the parts of the soul identities. As these soul aspects become more present, people may notice shifts in patterns of thought and behaviour. For example, an evolving warrior will get more peaceful and less interested in other peoples need to fight. Sometimes these new patterns can involve sexual components, curiosities or memories. Equally some people may have strong memories of other gender orientation. These can be particularly strong with awakened partners who have had many lifetimes together. They can start out being in one dynamic and end up being completely in an other, which can at times be disorientating e.g. a hetero M/F couple suddenly realises their deepest love for each other resides in a F/F connection that their gendered bodies can somehow transmit the pleasure and emotionality to each other. The lucid experience available to awakened couple can often be very different to the one occurring in physical practice. 

 

This can be a powerful and potent healing and awakening tool. When couples (or individuals using tantric practices to awaken) are ready to let in more of their soul, the act of tantric union in other dimensionalities is a wonderful way to welcome in more of their partners’ soul. Where things can get a little complicated is that now that you both have new soul elements in place, there are suddenly new dynamics in the relationship to deal with. This is the purpose of these spaces, for couples to discuss the goals emotionally and sexually if they wish in a safe ceremonial space. In trust, in tenderness and in reverence to each other, witnessed and supported by a facilitator. This is not therapy, but couple’s ceremonial work, with a commitment to their own individual journeys while committing to deeper spirals of flow within the partnership. 

 

These ceremonies can also be space for single people to explore their gender identity more, discover more of who they are beyond their human experience, make peace with childhood trauma around enforced gender identities or pain from past relationships, sexual trauma and awaken their kundalini and creative spirit.